Letters
by RougeLioness
Summary: What if Lillian left boxes of letters for her daughters, and the people in their lives?
1. Chapter 1

Bessie and Joey are singing, terribly off tune, while they are organizing the boxes Pacey is passing them. They are renovating their house to make into a b&b and they have decided to clean out the attic in preparation for the addition they are adding on. They have been at it for about two hours, boxes of holiday decorations stacked in the living room to be stored in the shed, then Pacey stops laughing suddenly and Joey leans against the pull down stairs. The attic is more of a crawl space, only tall enough for a box or two high.

"I found something." Pacey sounds unsure suddenly, then he is coming down the stairs, dust and cobwebs stuck to his shirt and in his hair. Joey is about to make a joke when she sees the look on his face. When he gets to the bottom of the stairs he puts the three shoe boxes he was holding down on the table.

Joey watches, unsure if she wants to know, afraid of the look on his face. Bessie turns from the box she was taping and hurries over when Pacey speaks again. "It's your mom's handwriting."

"Most of these boxes have her handwriting on them." Joey tells him, crossing her arms. Pacey opens the top box, pulling a couple envelopes from the top, looking at who they are addressed to, handing one to Bessie who takes it with a shaking hand before she slides into one of the chairs.

"They look like letters, a box for each of you." Pacey explains, holding one of the envelopes out to her. Joey takes the few steps closer to him, tucking the letter to her chest when she has it in her hand. She looks at Bessie before looking back to the boxes.

"Whats in the other one?" Everyone can hear the tears in her voice, but thankfully no one comments.

"Letters for everyone else. Dawson." He is flipping thru the envelopes, trying not to focus on the letter that he has set aside that has his name on it. "One for Gale and Mitch. Some for your father. One for each of your future husbands." He forces himself to laugh, trying to lighten the mood. "More for Dawson." He catches Joey's eyes, glancing to where she has the letter still crushed to her chest.

"For you?" She asks, her eyebrow furrowed in the middle. He wants to joke that if she keeps making faces it will get stuck like that. The words get stuck in his throat.

"Yea." He whispers, nodding his head in case he wasn't loud enough for her. He breaks their glance when he hears Bessie quiet crying and then Joey is tucking her letter in her pocket, wrapping her arms around her sister. And he runs his finger over his name written in the most beautiful handwriting he could of imagined. He pockets his letter, closing the box and leaving the letter for Dawson sitting on top. Then he goes to the kitchen to make lunch, catching Joey's watery smile as she holds onto her sister.

* * *

 **Authors Note: So this idea keeps annoying me while I am trying to write the other fic so I had to put it down. My idea is to write the letters out - at least the first few that she left when for when the boxes were found. I might add some chapters about where they are in their lives and such, or I might even make it into a whole story with a full plot. I honestly have no idea where I am going with this. I may not even do it in order, though I will try to make it make sense at least.**

 **I also want to warn you that I like to write a few chapters in advance so I always have something to update with but I don't plan on doing that with this one. So there may be periods of time when I don't update this one.**

 **Let me know what you think? If you have any ideas about what the letters should be about - right now my ideas are letters to everyone when the box is found (which I am writing now), letters for Joey's first heartbreak, letters for senior prom night, for after her 'first time', for marriages, both to the girls and to their husbands, and first kids (which Bessie would obviously read now that they found the box), graduation, first day at college, college graudation. It has to be something that Lillian would have known about before she died.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Will you stay with me?" Joey asked as Pacey started for the door. They had put the boxes of letters to the side while they finished up with the attic stuff. Pacey turned and raised one eyebrow with a suggestive smile on his face. "Not like that!" She told him, throwing an empty box at him. "Just can you.." She lifted the letter up slightly, looking unsure of herself. "I just don't want to be alone."

"Of course." He told her, dropping on the couch with his arm draped over the back. He sucked in a deep breath when she dropped down next to him, she use to sit as far as she could from him and she had just recently started sitting closer, but now she was tucked up against his side. She adjusted so her back was leaning against his chest, smiling at him over her shoulder before she looked back to the envelope on her lap.

* * *

 _My dear sweet Josephine,_

 _I'm sorry my baby girl. Sorry for all the things I have already missed, sorry for all of the things I will miss. I'm sorry you had to watch me lose this battle. But I am so proud of you, for everything you have done for me and everything you will do._

 _I hope you are doing well._

 _I wrote letters for some of the things I wished I could be there for, it helped me say goodbye and I hope it makes living a little easier for you._

 _I hope your father has straightened himself out, and if he hasn't I'm glad my daughters are stronger then the two of their parents combined. Listen to your sister, but also listen to your self, you have always been wise beyond your years. Remember to live and not grow up to fast, I know me dying made you have to be strong, but baby girl it is okay to be weak sometimes. It is hard to find the words to say goodbye to the best parts of me, and that is what you are my daughter. You are all the best parts of me and only the best parts of your father. I have already written this letter and ripped it up so many times._

 _I remember the first time you scraped your knee, you were wrestling with Pacey, and he pushed you to hard and you fell on a rock. Dawson yelled for me before you even seemed to realize there was blood trickling down your leg. By the time I got to you there were tears in your eyes and you were holding your leg. You tried to push me away when I first tried to pick you up, but I got you cleaned up and put a band aid on it. I realized two things that day and I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell them to you._

 _It is okay to ask for help. It doesn't make you less to take what others give you. I know I taught you the opposite growing up, and I let my pride overshadow our needs. I pushed away a lot of good people trying to do things on my own. Don't make my mistakes._

 _I don't think you saw that day but when I picked you up and took you inside Dawson and Pacey started arguing. You will come between those two boys, it will hurt all of you and there is nothing you can do to stop it. But Dawson will come between you and Pacey, Pacey will come between you and Dawson. That is how friendships go. I wish I could tell you some magical way to avoid it, but unless you know how to reach Peter Pan I am out of luck on that. There is going to be enough hurt to go around, don't use it to your advantage but realize you can't stop it, and trying to will just hurt you all more in the end._

 _I wish growing up wasn't so hard, and I wish more then anything that I could be there to help you through it. Let your friends give you strength, and don't be afraid to rely on others._

 _Remember that no matter what I love you, don't forget to love yourself._

 _Love Mom_


	3. Chapter 3

Joey had just finished her letter, tucking her knees up to her chest, but leaning into Pacey when he moved his arm from the back of the couch to around her. After her quiet crying subsided she looked over her shoulder to Pacey. He bent his head into her shoulder, bringing the arm that wasn't cocooning her to wipe at the tears that had gathered in his eyes.

"Did I come between you and Dawson?" She asked after a few moments, folding the letter back into its envelope. She was tracing the writing on the front with her finger, letting the warm breath on the back of her neck and over her shoulder calm her. There was still a lot of other questions. Things she needed to digest about the letter. Probably reread it a hundred thousand times.

"Sometimes." He told her, mumbling the words against where his head was resting on her shoulder. "We didn't get in any like fights over you or anything." He stopped himself before he could add the first time he had kissed her. That wasn't really a fight or anything, Dawson just told him not to ask Joey out, and he didn't.

"Oh." She slid the letter on the coffee table, squeezing his hand gently when she told him, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It wasn't because it was you, it was just growing up." He reassured her, smiling when she didn't let his hand go.

"Do you want to read yours?" She asked him in a quiet voice. "You don't have to or anything."

"I'm not sure." He told her. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was in this letter, let alone if he wanted Joey to know. But he really didn't want to read it alone and he couldn't imagine being with anyone else when he did read it. After a few minutes of silence he nodded, readjusting to get the letter from his back pocket. Joey had to move for him so she curled with her head against his shoulder so he could hold the letter for both of them to read. "Okay." He said before he was easing the envelope open.

* * *

 _Dearest Pacey,_

 _I'm sure you are surprised to see a letter for yourself. If you are surprised I should probably warn you that there are more, though those will have to wait for other milestones. If you are reading this that means someone found the boxes of letters. I started writing them the day I got the first bad test results. Letters for every major life event I am going to miss. Some of them I wrote before I knew if I would be missing them, I know now that I will be. I hope these letters will give my daughters, and everyone else piece of mind, knowing I will always be thinking of them. Feel free to destroy them if they don't._

 _I hope things have changed for you, my sweet boy. I have watched you grow up so much these past few years, and yes I know it has been you sneaking around doing yard work when everyone else is gone, but your secret is safe with me. I hope your father has realized what an amazing boy you are, what an amazing man you are going to be. But I know your father, which is why I need you to know you will always have me on your side._

 _I can't give you advice on any of the things going on in your life right now. I don't know when you will be opening this letter. My other letters have plenty of advice, warranted or not. I can give you general advice, love like it's the last time, live your life to the fullest. Get out of this town. But you already know all of those things I suspect. Instead I want to tell you a story about yourself. One you might even remember, though time has a funny way of changing history._

 _The three of you were eight and Joey had come home crying. I hate how use to tears I have become. After a cup of milk and some cookies I got her to tell me the whole story. She had been playing at recess with you and Dawson and someone had sung that silly kissing in a tree song. She told me you hit the kid, Chuck I think his name was. And I asked her why it made her so sad, and she told me Dawson had refused to talk to her for the rest of the day and that with you in detention she had to walk home alone. By the time she had finished her story you were standing on the front porch. I offered you a cookie and you told me that is what you came up for, not your best excuse if I do say so myself. I just wanted to say thank you for sticking up for my baby girl, and for always checking to make sure she got home okay, no matter how much you two pretended to hate each other. And for never being ashamed._

 _Keep fighting, because you are one of the good ones._

 _Lillian Potter_

* * *

Pacey ducked his head when he was done reading, smiling as he pushed his fingers against his eyes, trying to keep the tears away.

"Wow." He said finally, feeling Joey nod against his chest.

"She did always love you, you know." Joey told him, and he pulled his arm a little tighter around her hearing the way her voice was wobbling on her tears.

"No I didn't." He told her in a voice not even above a whisper. "I mean all friends parents are nice when you are five." He told her, disbelief evident in his voice.

"I would come home yelling about what a jerk you were, like that time you pushed me in the creek in the middle of the winter-"

"I didn't push you in, you pushed me in and I just took you with me." He defended with a smile.

"She would always just shake her head and ask if you wanted to join us for a snack. After she made you dry up the water and the mud you managed to track in. Then her and Bessie would always tease me that I was gonna fall in love with you some day. Which usually ended up with me being twice as mean to you the next time I saw you of course."

"Oh." He isn't really sure what to say to that. Everyone was always so focused on the Joey and Dawson soulmate thing that he never even thought about who might be on his side. Not that he needed a side of course. Though these days he probably wouldn't protest to much to her falling in love with him.

"I didn't ever even think about how the grass was always short. I mean I know grass needs to be cut, and I probably knew my father wasn't cutting it but it never even crossed my mind." He smiled against her shoulder. "Thank you." She told him. In truth he had never done it for thank yous or acknowledgement.

"I just figured your family had enough to worry about and I had enough time to give you guys less to worry about. Helped me get out of having to be home so much." The smile she sent him in response made his chest hurt, in a good way though. He had seen that smile before, but it was always a beautiful sight, even more so when it was directed at her.

"You know she is right. You are one of the good ones."

* * *

 **Authors Note: I really like writing these so I am glad I have gotten some great reviews.**

 **Thank you for reading, I just wanted to say I really appreciate it. And I love reading the reviews so keep them coming?**


	4. Chapter 4

Pacey isn't really sure how Joey convinced him to deliver the letter to Dawson. Well actually he is, all she had to do was ask. Of course he teased her and she bargained for trade of working on True Love. But she was going to do that anyway and they both knew it. It's not that Pacey and Dawson are fighting. They aren't. They just aren't talking about Joey, or anything Joey related really. Pacey isn't sure why Dawson isn't mentioning her, but he isn't sure he can talk about her without revealing how much he might actually like her. Not that Dawson is the most perceptive of their friends.

When he knocks on he door Mitch is the one who opens it. He has never really felt comfortable just walking in the door, let alone the window, especially when he wasn't already invited.

"Hey Pacey, haven't seen you around much. How are you doing?" He likes Mitch, he is the kind of father he always wished his was.

"I'm good." He tells him, smiling when he realizes its true. "Really good actually."

"Well that's great. Want to pass some of that good mood onto my son?" Mitch asks with a laugh, nodding his head up to the stairs. "He is in his room, you can go on up." Pacey nods, smiling when Mitch does one of those awkward father claps on the shoulder. He turns to Mitch when he is about halfway up the stairs and Mitch is making his way back to the kitchen.

"Thanks by the way. For being there when we were younger and everything I guess."

"Anytime. I'm here for anything you need" Mitch for his part just smiles, he looks surprised but thankfully not overly emotional. Pacey has dealt with enough emotions this week. How did Joey talk him into this again?

* * *

"Hey Pace," Dawson sits up in his bed as he pressed pause on whatever movie he was watching. "Did we have plans?"

"No." He tells him, going to lean against the open window so he can look at, and smell the creek. "Actually I uh have something for you. I know the whole Joey thing is awkward but here it goes. We were cleaning Joey's attic the other day and we found these boxes of letters from her mom. And they were mostly for Joey and Bessie of course but there were a few for you and some other people."

"Oh wow. So is Joey okay? Do you think she needs me to go make sure she is okay?" Dawson actually looked concerned which made Pacey's stomach hurt in a new way.

"She is fine. Uh she actually just wanted me to come over and give you this letter." Pacey told him, hoping it didn't sound as awkward to Dawson as it did to his own ears. It sounded a lot like Pacey was trying to keep Dawson away from Joey. Which in a way he was, but if she wanted Dawson then why was Pacey the one delivering this letter? His brain was starting to hurt.

"Oh." Dawson seemed to slump back against his headboard as he took the envelope.

"I can stay, if you want?" Pacey offered, watching as Dawson read his own name.

"No, I'm good." Dawson told him, not even looking up as Pacey made his way to the door. He didn't say anything else till Pacey was already almost fully out the door, and when he did speak he sounded sad. "She really is okay isn't she?"

"Yea she is." It felt like a small victory. Joey being okay without Dawson. But Dawson's expression almost made him want to take it all back.

* * *

 _Dawson,_

 _By the time you read this you may be old and gray, who knows how long it will take my girls to clean out the attic. But there are some things I wanted to tell you. I'll try to keep it short and sweet so you don't read into it to much._

 _Thank you. Thank you for being there for my baby, for coming with her to the doctors and letting her stay the night when things got too tough over here._

 _Live for the now Dawson. I know you are a dreamer, a romantic at heart. But life is in the moments and the memories, so make your memories._

 _I know your parents, they are the best friends, and probably the best parents I have ever met. But I disagree with them on one thing Dawson. Change. I know they tell you never to change, to always be the sweet boy they raised. But Dawson don't be afraid to change, change your dreams, change your life. The only thing you can't change is the past. Grow up and chase your dreams but never be afraid to change and never be afraid to fail._

 _Lillian_


End file.
